Of Love, Heartache and Heartburn

Foreword: I have been irregular in my blog posts: to the extent that I may have slipped from the “Active” status on Manish’s blog to “Dormant” or even “Dead”. Also, it causes some other souls deep angst when they can’t find new material to pinch for their blog from mine. I know most of you guys can’t think of any self-respecting guy who’d stoop to such levels: I mean, copy from me? But such people do exist (though not necessarily in a self-respecting manner) and mark my words, there’s more than just one guy. Now I know the gag about imitation being the sincerest form of flattery and what not, but I could do with just a teeny bit of flattery less, don’t you think? I mean, I must already be the most conceited person on earth, so guys, please don’t overdo it.

I was on vacation for a fortnight, which was spent in a gastronomic frenzy, and it was while stuffing myself with sumptuous roasted chicken stuffed with minced mutton that I came to realize that the ancients had made a crucial mistake. Their proclamation that ‘home is where the heart is’ is probably off target by four letters. The four-letter word, I’m thinking of here, is ‘burn’. Really, one does overeat even beyond the familiar boundaries of the home kitchen, but add a familiar dining table and the old stained tablecloth and the setting threatens to set a new world record of gluttony. Truly, home is where the heartburn is. My mom, like most moms, is a great cook. In fact, she takes the greatness to even greater levels, deep fries it in desi ghee, garnishes it with almonds, pistachios and cashew and generally makes you want to bite off, chew and swallow your fingers in the hope that their might be an extra morsel sticking there.

That being said, let me touch upon the other two subjects in the title: love and heartache. Before I hear the usual voices of contemptuous protests, let me tell you, I do so only on the request of alert reader (forgive me, Mr. Barry, I couldn’t help but pinch that one), Clark Kent*, from London, who I have known since my UG days in BIT Mesra. He wishes to present before my formidable mental prowess the questions, and I quote, “is it possible while being in love with one person...u fall in love with another ?? if you do what does that mean..?… u accept someone's commitment with a fling as short as 4-5 days...& then stay away from that for a year with someone else..whom u fall for...but now what to do...??” (sic).

Well, Clarkie, its entirely possible. And the person who does that does God’s work: after all doesn’t he say, “spread the love and not the virus”; er, maybe not the part about the virus, but I distinctly remember hearing something about spreading the love. At the same time, not spreading the virus finds favour with Him too. And it might give you protection, provided you use some.

One needs to objectively analyze the nature of love. The mistake most men and women (for even they make mistakes, despite what they would have us believe) make is that they think of love, as in the one in a relationship differently from any other form of love, as in the one you have for choco-chip ice-cream, or for your dog, or for your bike. The important thing is to realize that love and its nature in all cases mentioned above (and even in cases not mentioned above) is essentially the same. If they could assign some quantum numbers or some physical attributes to study it, we would have a scientific corroboration of what I’m saying. Of course, if you were reasonably intelligent, you wouldn’t be reading this and therefore you wouldn’t need one. As always, I am aware of the miniature brains provided by our father who art in heaven to the people who make up my audience (sometimes I wonder whether it is because they are my readers that they are bird-brained or is it because they are bird-brained that they are my readers, but we’ll leave such digressive questions to when we have leisure) and so, I will proceed to expostulate in painstaking (and causing) detail.

Your love for ice-cream is partial to one flavour, though you may like more than one. And you are not consistent in your favourite flavour, you might like choco-chip today but you may prefer mocha tomorrow. However, if you have never tried mocha, there are chances that you will be ever loyal to choco-chip. But if you have, it makes your experience richer, and you a more interesting person, in that in the next dinner party you attend (assuming that you do manage to get invited to one), you’ll have not one but two ice-cream flavours to talk about. Moreover, it gives you time to decide whether it is mocha or choco-chip that you really like.

Basically, Clark, what I am trying to say is that just because someone liked mocha once, tried choco-chip for sometime and now wants to go back to mocha, it doesn’t mean that choco-chip is history. Who knows, the same person might develop an allergy to caffeine, and then choco-chip, your time will come. The point, then, is whether you want to melt in the wait or stay chilled (out). Therefore, Clark Kent, look for a phone booth, change into your superhero suit (complete with the underwear on the outside) and fly up, up and away… or to the nearest ice-cream parlour, and while you are there order some choco-chip for me too. No, wait! Make it mocha…

*: Name changed to protect identity (You can’t believe my guts, can you?)